A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."
© ashish™ 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Newton in romantic mood......
Universal law:" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer fromOne girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money........
"first law:" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unlessany external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play andbreak the legs of the boy।
"second law:" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of thebank balance।
"third law:" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and oppositeto the force applied by the girl while slapping।
© ashish™ 2009
"first law:" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unlessany external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play andbreak the legs of the boy।
"second law:" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of thebank balance।
"third law:" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and oppositeto the force applied by the girl while slapping।
Thursday, July 16, 2009
CUTE LOVE STORY-
A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.
HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH.
BUT HE DID NOT TELL HER ABOUT HIS LUV.
EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP AND BOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER.
AFTER A MONTH HE DIED.
WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM,
HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM.....................................
SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ...............
THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED.
YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED?
ÇOZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS.
SHE ALSO LUVED HIM.............
moral of the story: if u love someone......say to him directly don't wait for the destiny to play the role.
Who is Brilliant an Engineer or a Doctor ??
7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So they both gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....Doctors say "Dekhlenge"
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we tooare equally SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC arrives....ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg Bathroom... TC DRIVES doctors out
© ashish™ 2009
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :
7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....Doctors say "Dekhlenge"
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :
Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we tooare equally SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC arrives....ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg Bathroom... TC DRIVES doctors out
Difficult Question
Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.
Think well before you make up your mind!"
A boy thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question.""
Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!
Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer,
but he thought for a while and said, "Its the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity.. ..."
© ashish™ 2009
Think well before you make up your mind!"
A boy thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question.""
Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!
Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"
The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer,
but he thought for a while and said, "Its the DAY sir!"
"How" the interviewer asked,
"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"
He was selected for IIM!
"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity.. ..."
Why the students fail...??
It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLYhas 365′ days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Daysleft 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies means 30days. Days left96.
6. 1 hour for talking means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11 That 1 day is your birthday
How can you study on that day??
Balance =0
How can a student pass??
© ashish™ 2009
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Daysleft 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies means 30days. Days left96.
6. 1 hour for talking means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11 That 1 day is your birthday
How can you study on that day??
Balance =0
How can a student pass??
Bright Future of Computer Engineers
1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana
© ashish™ 2009
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana
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