How to Start a Conversation with New People

Whether you are a host or a guest, there are many social situations that will call for interaction, even when you are stumped for some way to get it going. For example, you might want to help a friend’s new “significant other” feel comfortable. Or, you might see a stranger across a crowded room, and realize that this is your only chance to impress Mr. or Ms. Wonderful. Then, you realize that you’re not sure what to say.

1. Start with a “hello,” and simply tell the new person your name then ask them theirs. Offer your hand to shake, upon his/her responding to you. (If you go to other countries, greet the person in tune with the particular culture). If you already know the person, skip this step and proceed to step.
2. Look around. See if there is anything worth pointing out. Sure, talking about the weather is a cliche, but if there’s something unusual about it–bam!–you’ve got a great topic of conversation.
3. Offer a compliment. Don’t lie and say you love someone’s hair when you think it’s revolting, but if you like his or her shoes, or a handbag, say so. A sincere compliment is a wonderful way to get someone to warm up to you. But be careful not to say something so personal that you scare the person off or make him or her feel uncomfortable. It is best not to compliment a person’s looks or body.
4. Ask questions! Most people love to talk about themselves — get them going. “What classes are you taking this year?” “Have you seen (Insert-Something-Here)? What did you think of it?” Again, keep the questions light and not invasive. Do not ask too many questions if he or she is not responsive to them.
5. Jump on any conversation-starters he or she might offer; take something he or she has said and run with it. Agree, disagree, ask a question about it, or offer an opinion, just don’t let it go by without notice.
6. Look your newfound friend in the eye, it engenders trust (but don’t stare). Also, use the person’s name a time or two during the conversation; it will help you remember the name, and will draw the person’s attention to what you are talking about.
7. Don’t forget to smile and have fun with your conversation!

Tips:

• Just relax. Chances are that whatever small-talk you’re making isn’t going to stick out in anyone’s mind a few months from now. Just say whatever comes into your head, so long as it’s not offensive or really weird. (Unless, of course, the person you’re attempting to converse with is into weird stuff.)
• Remember, if you think of something in your head while you’re talking, it’s probably related.
• It will help if you watch some TV, listen to radio shows, and/or read a lot — newspapers, magazines, and/or books. You need to have some idea of what is going on in the world. Also remember and plan to share anything you like, think is funny, or find intriguing. This is building up your own library of things that might be helpful to another person during a conversation someday. It will be amazing how you thread these interesting things when you least expect it, and make conversation an adventure instead of a dreadful task. If you take it to the next step and say things that you want the person to think of as adding value, and keep to yourself things that the person might not, you are actually honing your own personality to be appealing to the other person, and what is a greater act of kindness than that.
• If you are shy, it will be helpful to have thought about a topic or two that you could talk about.
• Follow the lead that your listener is expressing. If he or she appears interested, then continue. If he or she is looking at a clock or watch, or worse, looking for an escape strategy, then you have been going on for too long.
• Interesting and funny quotes or facts can lighten things up, and make way for things to talk about. You could also use a set of conversation starter question cards for inspiration.
• If talking over the phone, keep the person involved in the conversation at all costs. If you can’t come up with a good topic, try the “questions” game. Just keep asking them questions; random questions work just fine as long as they are appropriate. This technique can save a phone conversation. The questions should be open ended questions that do not require a yes or no answer. For example “How do you know the hosts?” This way you can ask questions about what they just said or follow up with how you know the hosts (for example) instead of acting as if the conversation is an interrogation.
• Half of an effective conversation is the way you non-verbally communicate, and not necessarily what you say. Practice better non-verbal skills that are friendly and confident.
• Read newspapers and magazines to increase your knowledge so you can have more interesting things to talk about.

Information!

VERY INTERESTING STUFF !!!

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have 'the rule of thumb' -------------------------------------------
Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled 'Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden'....and thus, the word GOLF entered
into the English language. ------------------------------------------- 
The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV was Fred and Wilma Flintstone. ------------------------------------------- 
Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury. ------------------------------------------- 
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better. ------------------------------------------- 
It is impossible to lick your elbow. ------------------------------------------- 
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska -------------------------------------------

The first novel ever written on a typewriter, Tom Sawyer.. ------------------------------------------------------------------------
111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321 ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what? A. Their birthplace ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes. When you pulled on the ropes, the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase...'Goodnight, sleep tight' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them 'Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down.' It's where we get the phrase 'mind your P's and Q's' ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. 'Wet your whistle' is the phrase inspired by this practice. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow! ------------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it. I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? ------------------------------------------------------------------------
 YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2012 when... 1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave. 2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years. 3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three. 4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you. 5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses. 6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.. 7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen 8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it. 10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee. 11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : ) 12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing. 13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this message. 14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list. 15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.~~~~~~~~~~~AND FINALLY~~~~~~~~~~~~ NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself. Go on, send this to your friends and try to lick your elbow. You know you want to!

Brain Food for Thought....

A French epicurean once said, "Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are." But can eating certain foods make you smarter, happier, or more able to constructively respond to stress? Could junk food lead to a junk attitude? Connections are being made all the time between the foods we eat and the way we feel, think, and act. Did you know, for instance, that depression and aggression have been linked to diets that are high in harmful fats and low in beneficial fruits and veggies? Or that eating fish and seafood may reduce the risks of developing dementia and Alzheimer's disease? Or that tea may bring on a calm yet alert state of mind? Memory, alertness, and mood can all be impacted by your nutritional choices. And while intelligence and mental functions are complex and involve many bodily systems and processes, there are a few key nutrients that could help to boost your cerebral stamina.

Foods to boost your brain power:

 * Antioxidants: Foods and supplements containing antioxidants (e.g., omega-3 fatty acids, phytochemicals, catechins) could boost your brain health and longevity. Omega-3 fatty acids found in many kinds of seafood, including salmon, halibut, and scallops, have been linked to reduced brain inflammation and nerve cell regeneration. Not into seafood? Antioxidants can be found in less fishy sources, too: darkly coloured vegetables and fruits contain phytochemicals (blueberries, in particular), and green tea is packed with catechins. 


 * B vitamins: B is for brain, that's for sure. The B family of vitamins is a rich source of food for the nervous system. The messages our brain sends back and forth between our nerves depend on B-complex vitamins, especially folic acid, vitamin B6, and choline. Finding foods full of B-complex vitamins isn't too hard. Folic acid can be found in dark greens, including spinach, asparagus, romaine lettuce, and turnip or mustard greens. Loads of beans contain folic acid, too. Try black, garbanzo, or pinto for a folic acid feast. Crack an egg for choline: egg yolks contain this B-vitamin in abundance. Other sources include soybeans, peanut butter, potatoes, or whole wheat bread. 


 * Iron: Iron helps our blood supply oxygen to our body. Deficiencies in iron have been associated with ADHD, learning disabilities, and lowered IQ. It stands to reason, then, that our reasoning skills could benefit from foods that contain iron. Find iron in foods like spinach, blackstrap molasses, lentils, tofu, broccoli, and Brussels sprouts. 


 * Vitamin E: Some stave off mental decline with a daily crossword or Sudoku puzzle. Foods with vitamin E could keep you sharp, too! Vitamin E, especially taken along with vitamin C, has been linked to reduced cognitive decline with aging. Take note of vitamin E-rich foods: mustard and turnip greens, spinach, and broccoli. And if green is not your colour, you can pop sunflower seeds, almonds, or olives for a dose of vitamin E.

Ten career-damaging behaviours to avoid

"O, how full of brierf is this working-day world!" is the famous Shakespearian quote from `As You Like It'. External pressures, thorns, obstacles and difficulties aside, how many of us are responsible for unwittingly hampering our chances of career success through our own misplaced and misguided attitudes and behaviours.
Below are ten common faux-pas that can ruin a career and should be avoided at all costs.

1. Poor Time Management

Missing deadlines,
failing to abide by agreed timelines,
arriving to meetings late and generally disrespecting approved schedules is a sure fire way to lose credibility and professional respect.

Try to value each and every minute on the job and recognize the inefficiencies that arise from procrastination and slovenly time management and the impact these have on the organisation as a whole.

2. Failure to Deliver on Promises

A promise made should be a promise kept if your professional credibility is to remain intact. Avoid making promises you cannot deliver on. Unless you are known as someone who can be strictly depended on to follow through and deliver on time you are likely to be passed over for promotions and key assignments. When you do need more time or resources for an assignment communicate the requirement formally and professionally and manage the situation to show you are in control and will not be sacrificing on quality of delivery.

3. Poor Accountability

Accountability, a close reactive of honesty is an essential character trait in today's workplace. Avoid becoming known as the sour apple, who usurps all credit and circumvents all blame. If you have made an error, admitting to it in a timely manner avoids an unnecessary escalation, earns you the confidence and respect of those around you, and indicates professionalism, honesty and maturity.

4. Poor interpersonal skills

All research indicates that emotional intelligence and people skills are essential ingredients for success in life and at work. Whether it is suppliers, clients, superiors, colleagues or subordinates you are dealing with the quality and success of that relationship will be largely predicated by how personable you are and how pleasant you are to interact with. If you have a reputation as someone who is difficult to work or interact with, chances are people will start to avoid you and your success at mobilizing people or resources to further your goals will be severely diminished.

5. Poor team skills

A good team-player is able to work cohesively within a team framework and contribute, collaborate, communicate and challenge to meet specific goals within that framework.

Inability to see beyond one's self, work well with everyone, find the good qualities of others in the team, communicate persuasively and effectively, listen actively and attentively, give and welcome input, offer encouragement and assistance where needed and show respect, patience and courtesy inevitably leads to marginalisation and failure to meet personal and professional goals.

6. Lack of ethics or professionalism

Conducting personal business on the job and any other activities that show flagrant disrespect for company time, resources and property are both unethical and unprofessional. Chatting endlessly on the job, office gossip, wasting office supplies, laying about important work-related matters, back-biting the boss, spreading office secrets, routinely bringing personal matters to the workplace all fall under this category.

7. Lack of initiative

Complacency is a sure fire road to professional mediocrity.

To succeed it is essential that you continue to show enthusiasm, stretch the limits, be proactive and test the boundaries in the interest of innovation. Take responsibility for your personal and professional growth and continue to build momentum in your training and profession development activities.

If you chose to simply lie low and casually bide your time while others race ahead in their careers you will most probably be overlooked for promotions and plum assignments and your skills may well eventually become redundant.

8. Inability to Handle Pressure

Every job entails a certain amount of stress and pressure and failure to recognize and handle the strain may lead to a pronounced and sustained decline in performance.
Learn to recognize stress and cope with it professionally and effectively.
Take breaks and holidays when needed, learn to manage stress and cope with pressure so that it is not an ongoing problem for you. It may be that the pressures mounting on you are due to poor time management or delegation skills or weakness in a certain area in which case developing your skills in these areas is highly advisable.

9. Lone Ranger Syndrome

Team skills are essential in today's marketplace as is getting along with others and communicating your accomplishments regularly and professionally.
Do not try to isolate yourself and excel quietly in private as chances are your performance will not get the exposure and credit it deserves.
Personal marketing and effective relationship management is key to career success.
Aim to regularly and professionally communicate your private coups to your manager and others in a position to help your career advancement and do not assume your great work and personal victories will automatically get noticed and given the credit they deserve.

10. Stasis

You may well be in your comfort zone and doing very well there but if you don't challenge yourself in pursuit of further growth and development and continuously move forward and upward you may lose your equilibrium sooner than you expected.

Have a vision in mind as pertains to your career and formulate a clear strategy and timeline for getting there which you can regularly benchmark and measure yourself against. Continuous learning, development and self-improvement is a necessity not a luxury for today's ambitious professional and it is imperative that you keep abreast of the latest trends, tools and technologies in your field and not risk losing ground to the star performers who take personal growth more seriously.

© ashish™ 2011

How Failure Can Accelerate Your Success!!

No one actually wants to encounter failure in their life. That’s because when you look at the isolated incident, it means that you haven’t found success. However, with the right attitude, you can use your failure in order to get yourself to success in an accelerated fashion.


Overcoming Failure

The first step to overcoming failure is to accept your situation. Tell yourself that failure is a natural part of life, and that you’re not superhuman so you will fail to succeed at certain junctures in your life.

When you attempt to be too perfect that can just be yet another failure on your part. It’ll cause you stress and you won’t be able to get yourself past to the part of acceptance. You might tell yourself that you’re over it when you really aren’t. You don’t want to be carrying that burden around with you forever.


Your Positive Outlook

The next thing to concentrate on is to turn your negative thoughts into positive ones. If you fail to succeed, don’t be tempted to wallow in it. It’ll mean that you’ve truly failed because you’re choosing to end your road to success.

With the right outlook on life, you can look at your failure as just a stepping stone on your way to success. Your goal is to seek out the silver lining, because it’s always there hiding in any negative situation.

I remember a time when I wanted to be a part of a sports team, I tried and I didn’t make the team. I could have just moved on and blamed others for the failure, but I chose to study the reasons why I didn’t make it. I asked the ground, poles ans every other thing what I could work on and I practiced those skills. To make a long story short, the next year I was on the team and better yet, I was a striker. I don’t believe I would have accomplished so much so fast had I not encountered the initial “failure”.


How Failure Can Speed Up Success

The above story illustrates how one can use a failure in order to get to success faster. There’s a vast difference between overcoming failure and accepting failure. When you’re in the process of overcoming failure you’re given the unique opportunity to analyze what went wrong.

Take the time to study the exact steps that you took and what outcome you received. Also study the reasons why the failure occurred. Maybe there’s a certain skill you can develop in order to finally reach success?

After this analysis you can draft up a new plan in order to get to success. Only this time you’ll be smarter and better equipped.


Never Give Up On Yourself

It may help you to stop using words like “failure” when it comes to your attempts at success. As long as you’re still trying on that road to success, then you actually haven’t failed. It’s only once you’ve given up that you’ve failed.

Life is tough though. To say “never give up” is easier said than done. Of course there will be times when you feel like giving up, everyone encounters these times. Just ask any successful person that you admire. However, it’s those people that still make the extra effort even when they feel like giving up that reach success. There’s nothing stopping you from being one of these people.

Of course you want to get to success as fast as you possibly can, but you must give yourself proper time. Everyone has their unique road and when you stop comparing yourself to others and just plough forward with your plans, you’ll get there before you know it.

© ashish™ 2011

ClassiC DefinitionS & CooL MeaningS ...

1. Cigarette: A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the other!!
2. Love affairs: Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than a five-day test!!
3. Marriage: It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her master!!
4. Divorce: Future tense of marriage!!
5. Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either"!!
6. Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present!!
7. Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece!!
8. Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine water-power!!
9. Dictionary: A place where divorce comes before marriage!!
10. Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later on!!
11. Ecstasy: A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never felt before!!
12. Classic: books, which people praise, but do not read!!
13. Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight!!
14. Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life!!
15. Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth!!
16. Etc.: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do!!
17. Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together!!
18. Experience: The name men give to their mistakes!!
19. Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions!!
20. Philosopher: A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead!!
21. Diplomat: A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip!!
22. Opportunist: A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river!!
23. Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."!!
24. Pessimist: - A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY!!
25. Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich!!
26. Father: A banker provided by nature!!
27. Criminal: A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught!!
28. Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early!!
29. Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after!!
30. Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills!!
31. Computer Engineer: One who gets paid for reading such Things!!

© ashish™ 2011

Old Man vs Young Man:

Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose,if
You tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may
be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: Oneday you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me. Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea. After my courteous approach you will try to come again.This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty daughter to you & you will admire my daughter.
Young Man: Smiles.
Old Man: Now onwards you will try to meet my daughter again and again. You will offer her to go out for a movie together and a date with you.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: My daughter may start liking you and start waiting for you. After meeting regularly you will fall in love with her and propose her for marriage.
Young Man: Smiles
Old Man: One day both of you will come to me and tell me about your love and ask for my permission.
Young Man: Oh Yes! And smiles
Old Man: (Angrily) Young man, I will never marry my daughter to a person like you who does not even own a watch.

© ashish™ 2010

Alphabets of Happiness!!

A--Accept
Accept others for who they are and for the choices they've made even if you have difficulty understanding their beliefs, motives, or actions.
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B--Break Away
Break away from everything that stands in the way of what you hope to accomplish with your life.
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C--Create
Create a family of friends whom you can share your hopes, dreams, sorrows, and happiness with.
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D--Decide
Decide that you'll be successful and happy come what may, and good things will find you. The roadblocks are only minor obstacles along the way.
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E--Explore
Explore and experiment. The world has much to offer, and you have much to give. And every time you try something new, you'll learn more about yourself.
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F--Forgive
Forgive and forget. Grudges only weigh you down and inspire unhappiness and grief. Soar above it, and remember that everyone makes mistakes.
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G--Grow
Leave the childhood monsters behind. They can no longer hurt you or stand in your way.
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H--Hope
Hope for the best and never forget that anything is possible as long as you remain dedicated to the task.
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I--Ignore
Ignore the negative voice inside your head. Focus instead on your goals and remember your accomplishments. Your past success is only a small inkling of what the future holds.
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J--Journey
Journey to new worlds, new possibilities, by remaining open-minded. Try to learn something new every day, and you'll grow.
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K--Know
Know that no matter how bad things seem, they'll always get better. The warmth of spring always follows the harshest winter.
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L--Love
Let love fill your heart instead of hate. When hate is in your heart, there's room for nothing else, but when love is in your heart, there's room for endless happiness.
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M--Manage
Manage your time and your expenses wisely, and you'll suffer less stress and worry. Then you'll be able to focus on the important things in life.
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N--Notice
Never ignore the poor, infirm, helpless, weak, or suffering. Offer your assistance when possible, and always your kindness and understanding.
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O--Open
Open your eyes and take in all the beauty around you. Even during the worst of times, there's still much to be thankful for.
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P--Play
Never forget to have fun along the way. Success means nothing without happiness.
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Q--Question
Ask many questions, because you're here to learn.
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R--Relax
Refuse to let worry and stress rule your life, and remember that things always have a way of working out in the end.
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S--Share
Share your talent, skills, knowledge, and time with others. Everything that you invest in others will return to you many times over.
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T--Try
Even when your dreams seem impossible to reach, try anyway. You'll be amazed by what you can accomplish.
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U--Use
Use your gifts to your best ability. Talent that's wasted has no value. Talent that's used will bring unexpected rewards.
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V--Value
Value the friends and family members who've supported and encouraged you, and be there for them as well.
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W--Work
Work hard every day to be the best person you can be, but never feel guilty if you fall short of your goals. Every sunrise offers a second chance.
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X--X-Ray
Look deep inside the hearts of those around you and you'll see the goodness and beauty within.
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Y--Yield
Yield to commitment. If you stay on track and remain dedicated, you'll find success at the end of the road.
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Z--Zoom
Zoom to a happy place when bad memories or sorrow rears its ugly head. Let nothing interfere with your goals. Instead, focus on your abilities, your dreams, and a brighter tomorrow.

© ashish™ 2010

Legal & Logical..!!

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.


Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"
Professor: "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"
Student: "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question.

If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor: "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"
Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed.

Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

© ashish™ 2010

The Pretty Lady!!

Once upon a time a big monk and a little monk were traveling together. They came to the bank of a river and found the bridge was damaged. They had to wade across the river. There was a pretty lady who was stuck at the damaged bridge and couldn't cross the river.
The big monk offered to carry her across the river on his back. The lady accepted. The little monk was shocked by the move of the big monk. 'How can big brother carry a lady when we are supposed to avoid all intimacy with females?' thought the little monk. But he kept quiet... The big monk carried the lady across the river and the small monk followed unhappily. When they crossed the river, the big monk let the lady down and they parted ways with her. All along the way for several miles, the little monk was very unhappy with the act of the big monk. He was making up all kinds of accusations about big monk in his head. This got him madder and madder. But he still kept quiet. And the big monk had no inclination to explain his situation. Finally, at a rest point many hours later, the little monk could not stand it any further, he burst out angrily at the big monk. 'How can you claim yourself a devout monk, when you seize the first opportunity to touch a female, especially when she is very pretty? All your teachings to me make you a big hypocrite The big monk looked surprised and said, 'I had put down the pretty lady at the river bank many hours ago, how come you are still carrying her along?'

This very story reflects the thinking of many people today. We encounter many unpleasant things in our life, they irritate us and they make us angry. Sometimes, they cause us a lot of hurt, sometimes they cause us to be bitter or jealous .. But like the little monk, we are not willing to let them go away.We keep on carrying the baggage of the 'pretty lady' with us. We let them keep on coming back to hurt us, make us angry, make us bitter and cause us a lot of agony. Why? Simply because we are not willing to put down or let go of the baggage of the 'pretty lady'. We should let go of the pretty lady immediately after crossing the river.
This will immediately remove all our agonies. There is no need to be further hurt by the unpleasant event after it is over.

© ashish™ 2010

LIFEBOOK:

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants (factory).
4. Live with the 3 E's -- Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.
5. Make Time for Prayers.
6. Play more games.
7. Read more books than you did last year.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day & meditate/pray.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day -- and while you walk, SMILE !!

Personality:

11. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
12. Don't have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.
13. Don't overdo; keep your limits.
14. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does.
15. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip.
16. Dream more while you are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
18. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
20. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and Laugh more often.
24. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:

25.. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 7.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is none of your business.
31. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:

32. Do the right things.
33. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. God heals everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how you feel; Get up, Dress up and Show up!
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it.
39. Your inner most is always happy, So be Happy!

© ashish™ 2010

God's Clinic

I went to God's Clinic to have my routine check-up and I confirmed I was ill:


When God took my blood pressure, He saw I was low in tenderness. When he read my temperature, the thermometer
registered 40º of anxiety
He ran an electrocardiogram and found that I needed several 'love bypasses' since my arteries were blocked with loneliness and could not provide for an empty heart.
I went to orthopedics, because I could not walk by my brother's side and I could not hug my friends, since I had fractured myself when tripping with envy.
He also found I was shortsighted, since I could not see beyond the shortcomings of my brothers and sisters.
When I complained about deafness, the diagnosis was that I had stopped listening to God's voice talking to me on a daily basis.
For all of that, God gave me a free consultation thanks to his mercifulness. So my pledge is to, once I leave this clinic, only take the natural remedies he prescribed through his words of truth:

Every morning,
take a full glass of gratitude

When getting to work,
take one spoon of peace

Every hour,
take one pill of patience, one cup of brotherhood and one glass of humility

When getting home,
take one dose of love

When getting to bed,
Take two tablets of clear conscience


Do not give in to sadness or desperation for what you are going through today.

God knows how you feel......

God knows exactly and with perfection what is being allowed to happen to you in your life at this precise moment.

© ashish™ 2010

Friendship

Cultivate a friendship,

As you do a garden bed;

Nourish, feed and watch it grow,

With help and nice things said.

Smile, it's like the sunshine

Needed for the flowers,

Loving hands to tend and care,

Soft rains and sun-filled hours.
Little hurts are like weeds,
That come between the rows;
Pull and cast them out before
The beautiful friendship goes.
Be proud of your well tended garden,
And proud of a good friend too,
All the work you put into them
Will come straight back to you.
Don't neglect your garden,
Or the good friends that you know,
Don't let a single day go by,
Keep trying, both will grow.

© ashish™ 2010

The Heart Knows Not to Forget...

How can anyone forget a feeling? This is a question I'm trying to solve the times. People (logical and rational) when faced with someone who had a disappointment in love, just talk to cheer her: "Forget about that person. He (a) do not deserve." or "One forgets love with another love." I know they do it willingly because they want us to be happyHowever do not agree with any of that. First to forget someone whom we had (or still has) an intense feeling great and not so simple. For real, it is virtually impossible. And again, people who have marked us, even though the injured, let stigmas and that is not quenched. What can happen is to minimize the scars over time and thus we live and knowing other people.
Forget love one another with love does not work. How would Miranda Quintana (July 30, 1906—May 5, 1994): "... One day we discovered that kissing a person to forget other is nonsense. You not only do not forget the other person as it thinks much ...". We have to give us a time to know us and try to take these learnings desillusions of life, and when we are with ourselves, open ourselves to new relationships.
Now imagine me, with my super long memory (so I have already dubbed over and over again by the ability to remember many things in life with so many details) listen to someone to forget so easily, and go for another. To understand that some people get this "achievement" already out of a relationship and embark on another (no, not really understand, but I admire them), yet each has its time and I am kind of slow at it (slow beeeem tell by the way, but I'm trying to change). Just do not rush me like that, especially when the subject is connected to the heart. It is difficult, but in my time I'll get through this more, but do not forget! This kind of thing is not to mind the boss, but the heart and there is not some take those memories.

© ashish™ 2010

Na "Chemistry" Hoti Na "Love" Hota...

Na Chemistry hoti na main Student hota

Na ye Lab hoti Na ye Accident hota

Abhi Practical me aayi Nazar ek Ladki
Sundar thi Naak Us ki Test Tube Jaisi

Baaton me Uski Glucose ki Mithas thi

Saanso mein Ester ki Khusboo bhi sath thi

Aankhon se jhalakta tha kuch is Tarah ka Pyar

Bin piye hi ho Jata tha Alcohol ka Khumar

Benzene sa hota tha Uski Presence ka Ehsaas
Andhere mein Hota tha Radium ka Aabhas

Nazrain mileen, Reaction hua

Kuch is tarah Love ka Production hua

Lagne lage uske Ghar ke Chakkar aise

Nucleus ke charon taraf Electron hon jaise

Us din hamare test ka Confirmation hua

Jab uske Daddy se hamara Introduction hua

Sun kar hamari baat wo aise Uchal pade

Ignesiun Tube me jaise Sodium Bharak uthe

Wo boli, Hosh me aao, Pahchano apni Auqat
Iron mil nahi sakta kabhi Gold ke saath

Ye sun kar Tuta hamara Armanon Bhara Beaker

Aur hum Chup rahe Benzaldehyde ka Karva Ghoont pee kar

Ab uski Yaadon ke siwa hamara Kam chalta na tha

Aur Lab mein hamare Dil ke siwa kuch Jalta na tha

Zindgi ho gayi Unsaturated Hydrocarbon ki Tarah

Aur hum Phirte hain Awara Hydrogen ki Tarah

© ashish™ 2010

Software Engineer

A man was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said: "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess". He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.The frog spoke up again and said: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."The man took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.The frog then cried out: "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do anything you want". Again the man took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.Finally, the frog asked: "What is the matter ? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me ?"The man said, "Look I'm a software engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog is cool."


© ashish™ 2009

Newton in romantic mood......

Universal law:" Love can neither be created nor be destroyed; only it can transfer fromOne girlfriend to another girlfriend with some loss of money........
"first law:" a boy in love with a girl, continue to be in love with her and a girlin love with a boy, continue to be in love with him, until or unlessany external agent(brother or father of the gal) comes into play andbreak the legs of the boy।
"second law:" the rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy isdirectly proportional to the instantaneous bank balance of the boy andthe direction of this love is same to as increment or decrement of thebank balance।
"third law:" the force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and oppositeto the force applied by the girl while slapping।


© ashish™ 2009

CUTE LOVE STORY-

A BOY HAD CANCER AND HE HAD ONE MONTH TO LIVE.

HE LIKED A GIRL WORKING IN A CD SHOP VERY MUCH.

BUT HE DID NOT TELL HER ABOUT HIS LUV.

EVERYDAY HE WENT TO THE CD SHOP AND BOUGHT A CD ONLY TO TALK TO HER.

AFTER A MONTH HE DIED.

WHEN THE GIRL WENT HIS HOME AND ASKED ABOUT HIM,

HIS MOM TOLD THAT HE DIED AND TOOK HER TO HIS ROOM.....................................

SHE SAW ALL THE CD'S UNOPENED ...............

THE GIRL CRIED N CRIED N FINALLY DIED.

YOU KNOW Y SHE CRIED?

ÇOZ SHE HAD KEPT HER OWN LUV LETTERS INSIDE THE CD PACKS.

SHE ALSO LUVED HIM.............

moral of the story: if u love someone......say to him directly don't wait for the destiny to play the role.

© ashish™ 2009

Who is Brilliant an Engineer or a Doctor ??

7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So they both gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7tickets.. Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come...... When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC knocks , one hand come out with the ticket and the TC goes away....Doctors say "Dekhlenge"

SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA) :

Doctors decided, "this time we will prove that we tooare equally SHAANE"....All 7 Doctors take 1 Ticket
Engineers don't buy any ticket at all!!!!!..TC arrives....ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE ONE..One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes the
ticket and comes in engg Bathroom... TC DRIVES doctors out


© ashish™ 2009

Difficult Question

Interviewer said "I shall either ask you ten easy questions or one really difficult question.

Think well before you make up your mind!"

A boy thought for a while and said,"my choice is one really difficult question.""

Well, good luck to you, you have made your own choice!

Now tell me this."What comes first, Day or Night?"

The boy was jolted into reality as his admission depends on the correctness of his answer,

but he thought for a while and said, "Its the DAY sir!"

"How" the interviewer asked,

"Sorry sir, you promised me that you will not ask me a SECOND difficult question!"

He was selected for IIM!

"Technical Skill is the mastery of complexity, while Creativity is the mastery of simplicity.. ..."


© ashish™ 2009

Why the students fail...??

It’s not the fault of the student if he fails, because the year ONLYhas 365′ days.
Typical academic year for a student:
1. Sundays-52, Sundays in a year, you know Sundays are for rest. Daysleft 313.
2. Summer holidays-50 where weather is very hot and difficult to study.Days left 263.
3. 8 hours daily sleep- 130 days GONE. Days left 141.
4. 1 hour for daily playing- (good for health) means 15 days. Days left126.
5. 2 hours daily for food & other delicacies means 30days. Days left96.
6. 1 hour for talking means 15 days. Days left 81.
7. Exam days- per year at least 35 days. Days left 46.
8. Quarterly, Half yearly and festival (holidays)-40 days. Balance 6days.
9. For sickness- at least 3 days. Remaining days=3.
10. Movies and functions - at least 2 days. 1 day left.
11 That 1 day is your birthday
How can you study on that day??
Balance =0
How can a student pass??


© ashish™ 2009

Bright Future of Computer Engineers

1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions
5. INFOSYS :Inferior Offline Systems
6. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping
7. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds
8. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines
9. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly
10. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors
11. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings
12. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible
13. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort
14. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers
15. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go
17. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
18. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of
19. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
20. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
21. MASTEK: Mad And Stupid Technitians Enroute to Kabaarkhana


© ashish™ 2009